ABHappenings

Budget Cuts

2012-02-04T08:36:00.001-08:00

Keontay's tutor held out a carrot for him...if Keontay was good, and after he had finished his work then....the tutor would answer his question by explaining what "budget cuts" meant. At the end of the lesson the tutor kept his word.

Keontay was deeply influenced. For instance, while he was kicking the ball around the living room with his friend, his team was 'budget cuts' and since his team required an announcer for every single move they (he) made we heard 'budget cuts' every five seconds or so. This soon progressed to 'budget cuts' being chanted even more so. Aaron was not happy.

"Keontay, you can't say budget cuts anymore," Aaron stated.
"Why?" Keontay asked.
"Just because," Aaron explained paternally. I think this question is traditionally followed with an explosion of why's. Tradition wasn't broken here.
Aaron decided to lay on the reasons, "You can't say budget cuts because budget cuts are hard for many people. They might get hurt feelings when they hear it."

So, after Keontay was in bed Aaron told me this whole scenario.
"Why didn't you just say it was bugging you?" I asked.
"I can't say that."
"Of course you can!" I say. "Then he learns from you how to say what he needs to and speak honestly. It's okay to be sick and tired of something because it's annoying."
"No, I can't." He didn't offer any explanation or expression.

Insert brick wall, the kind my Dad used to turn around and talk to instead of pursuing a conversation with his teenage daughter (me). Aaron looked at me. I looked at him. We realized this brick wall wouldn't be too much of a problem. Maybe it was just the result of a tiring day. So, Aaron continued to his bowl of cereal and me to my book.

Hopefully this will explain why, later in life, Keontay will think that "budget cuts" is a dirty word. I wonder if that's what happened to half of this country.

Snoring knee sandwich

2012-02-03T12:25:00.001-08:00

My 37th birthday began in a snoring knee sandwich. Aaron's knee was touching me from behind. Daysha's knee was right on my bladder. They both enjoyed their deep, even breathing (not quite snoring) for an hour and a half, during which I didn't dare budge. My first wish would've been to be asleep as well, but my second wish was to have well-rested compatriots to share the day. They are much more pleasant. I also had the lengthy pleasure of Daysha's armpit wrapped around my neck and her breath aimed right at me. As unappealing as recycled breathing is, it is still more appealing than an unrested child for the next twelve hours. I have to confess that welcoming armpits and recycled breath are generally not my norm, but Daysha had endeared herself to me...she hadn't spoken a word. Her silent, pre-6am tap with her floundering arm was answered by my arm tap, which still held hope that she'd stay silent or leave. But she took my arm tap as an invitation. Since I still hoped for sleep for both of us I acquiesced. But one of us did not sleep. Nevertheless, my sandwich soon awakened and the singing began.

Aaron pushed/pulled in the eight-year-old singer, nudging his head to sing for me. They started singing. I raised my hand to rub Keontay's head and ended up whacking Daysha on her head. She started crying. Aaron had migrated, mid-song, to the closet and Keontay still hadn't uttered a musical syllable, even though his wailing is quite musical. But, the good news is that I got half a birthday song.

Despite my previous night's tirade (I had been firmly repealing Aaron's profound opinion that I would have a great birthday even though he was taking my car in at 7am, I had to help Keontay finish a book report in record time and take Daysha in to get her blood drawn at 8:30am, which usually requires four people to hold her down.) I did have a glorious birthday. I gladly welcome my snoring knee sandwich and my half-sung birthday song. Aaron ended up staying to help with the book report and the blood being drawn. Then I had a yummy lunch at Il Forno with Dorothy, Val and Aaron, and dinner and shopping with Mom and Heather at Tapa's something in Granite Bay.

I don't mind being 37. The odd numbered birthdays are just road signs in between the heavy, even-numbered birthdays. My last day of being 36 I looked at myself in the mirror. I hope this doesn't sound spooky, but I realized I don't think I ever really look deeply at myself on the inside. It was eerie to realize who I'd been unable to see, and I couldn't take inventory for very long. I just wanted a brief acquaintance with myself on the last day of 36. I did give myself credit for showing up. Regardless of my performance rating, I had filled the role of wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend. The stage hadn't been empty and this show isn't over.

Treasure Chest

2012-02-01T10:18:00.001-08:00

So, it has tiny nails poking out of both sides, left from where I ripped Santa off so I could use it all year. Somebody put the six on upside down. And after the 25th day Keontay just randomly opens other doors to find another activity. But it's my treasure chest. It has helped me find a new and enjoyable relationship with my son, one little activity a day at a time. Every day he gets to open a door and discover what we will do together. Yesterday we played "bulldog" a longer version of horse or pig. I discovered how much fun he can be and what a great shot he is with a basketball. The day before that we learned a magic trick and I got to touch his fingers and hands over and over to help him make the rubber band jump to the other two fingers. Little by little I'm learning he's my little boy and he won't be little for long. Thanks to the box and to God for giving me the idea in the first place.

Car dressing...

2012-01-24T08:47:00.001-08:00

...Didn't work out too well for this guy.

Peas in a Pod

2012-01-22T13:28:00.000-08:00

Apparently my Dad and I are tied for last place in the late night voting game of "Who is the most mature?" I, of course, wanted a clear definition of mature so that I could argue for or against my case. But, we rolled forward with our card game, during which Dad and I unintentionally solidified our standing in last place. Dad had been drawing an army of stick figures on the score pad. Heather asked him which one he would want to be and he immediately pointed to a medium-sized character with stick-out hair.

"Him, because he's the most nimble." It made complete sense to me. But, Mom was highly amused.

"He's just a stick figure!" she exclaimed. "How can he be nimble?"

Oh, but she doesn't have the eyes Dad has. He finds characters wherever he goes. We'll be driving down the freeway and he'll be noticing the people in each car. "Look at this guy up here," he'll say. "Do you want hair like that?" And I probably did want hair like that. Afros, the likes of Art Garfunkel, were always on my A-list. Dad used to entertain us with bedtime stories made up on the spot that involved ten-year-old garden boys showing up out of thin air, sometimes with no hair on their heads. "And, of course he was bald!" Dad would declare after we'd wake him from a short nap in the middle of his story. Dad will laugh and laugh at animals and their antics. He'll watch the birds in the sky, wanting to soar on the wind like they do. He doesn't see a series of lines. He sees a story.

My sister inherited my Dad's ability to observe. Unfortunately she was looking my way.

"What are you doing?" she asked me as I waited for my turn. I was completely unaware of myself until she asked me. I had to stop and review what had been going on.

Having quickly gathered my answer I spat out my report, "I was watching myself jiggle below the table [which was glass] and in my reflection." Upon further reflection (and not the one I was observing in the table) I realized that what I was doing probably didn't look very sophisticated, nor should I have answered so quickly. With a little more time I could've come up with something more "mature" like "I was helping the little ant back onto the ground without scaring him with my finger tips" or "I read in Scientific American that a quick little shake stimulates the synapses in the neurons and aids in card playing." But I had no deep reflection, so my standing was reinforced.

"They are tied!" Mom declared as she and Heather went into fits of laughter. I joined them even though I was still a little unsettled about what the whole thing meant in the context of my whole life. But now I think I see. It seems that the term immature means being childlike in the sense that our filters are minimal, that we don't have as many rules to govern or explain what we want or what we see and maybe that we're open to just going with it without needing to justift it. If that's what they mean then I welcome my last-place standing. I guess we're a little on the fringe, not being in the middle of the pack, but it's quite a bit of fun we're having and since we are who we are we'll take it. High five, Dad! Thanks for this pea pod. I'm glad to be in it with you.

Christmas Day

2012-01-01T22:35:00.000-08:00

After church we went to Mimi's house to have prime rib for dinner and open presents. Her gift to us was a Disneyland trip, which we will take in a couple weeks. We can't wait! It's so much better to go with cousins and grandparents.

This is Randy Stephens, the fish.

So after the present opening madness Aaron took the kids to the park to fly Keontay's super stealth spy plane. I lay on the couch watching Malcolm in the Middle, Shaun the sheep and the underside of my eyelids. It was heaven. It's all about balance, right?

Aunt Ann, Chris, Dorothy and Val were able to join us for Christmas dinner. We are always so glad to have them!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Youth Choir Reunion

2012-01-01T22:09:00.000-08:00

On December 23rd we had our first annual Youth Choir Reunion in the Loomis Chapel. It's been twenty years since it first began. It was so much fun to sing all the songs and to see everybody. Since I had been the accompanist I was torn between accompanying and singing, but my friends joined me around the piano and I got to sing with my fingers and my voice. Hopefully we can have even more come next year!!!! Here's the link to the article in the New Era that kind of describes our choir back in the glory days. One of the best parts was seeing everybody's families. Some members of the choir have even started youth choirs of their own.

Construction Zone

2012-01-01T21:59:00.000-08:00

So....oops. Nobody will be calling me for decorating advice, unless it's the department of transportation wanting to keep their workers safe from semis. But since her room happened it's going to be a year experiment.

Mimi and the Guhs

2012-01-01T21:47:00.000-08:00

The girls got their own sleepover, Mimi-style. Cookie-decorating, tea party, baths and bedtime, all in record time, maybe an hour? I need some of whatever Mimi's taking.

They're cute. Daysha usually plays with the white baby and Chloe with the brown baby when they come to Mimi's house. They even chose their bears in the same colors. I think they look up to each other. :)

Mimi Great Adventure --SF Style

2012-01-01T21:23:00.000-08:00

Mimi really treated us (Heather, myself and the boys) during this Christmas sleepover. We stayed right on the wharf at the Marriott Courtyard. She had it all planned out, perfect timing to beat the crowds and get everything in. Friday night we drove down and stopped at Spengers in Berkeley for some fish and chips. Then to the hotel and Ghiradelli Square for some chocolate. Mom played Uno with the boys then put them to bed. Mom bossed the boys around while the Moms hung out enjoying it all. That was fabulous! I tried not to even look directly at him (during tumultuous times) so he wouldn't be tempted to give me grief. Keontay was really, really good. Saturday morning we took the trolley to Sears Fine Foods for breakfast. On the way back we stopped at the Fairmont to see the biggest Gingerbread house. Then took a taxi back to the hotel for more Uno, a nap and to pack up before heading to the pier for a carnival show, sea lion watching and then a trip to Alcatraz. It couldn't have been better. Thank you, Mimi!

This may be the one (and only) time Keontay ever sat on Santa's lap.

Lukie finished it all, in a jiffy. Looks like his stomach might be telling him all about it.

We found some fabulous scarves at great deals in China town. At first Mimi banned the Mom's from shopping. Shopping was actually the threat if the boys continued their potty talk. In the end (the last fifteen minutes) the Mom's went to town. Heather set the record at seven scarves.

Pre-Alcatraz boarding

Sear's Fine Foods

In the hotel I was having some issues and was in DESPERATE need of some cool air. The boys were clueless of my motives and kept trying to be the next one to take a look out the window.

Happy Calories

Pretty tree at Fairmont

This gingerbread house in the Fairmont smelled super yummy.

In the Zone

2012-01-01T21:15:00.000-08:00

Keeping Keontay in his seat is one of our biggest challenges, even if it's his favorite meal, which is pretty much every meal. Sporting events are another story. He can sit still forever and enjoy every single second...except when his Dad asks him to turn around and smile so he can get a picture.

Orphans R Us

2012-01-01T21:11:00.000-08:00

Keontay was a star for a night. Even our neighbor, Mathew, came to watch his performance. He and his whole class were a joy to watch. They were so exuberant and sang with such gusto and huge smiles on their faces. Keontay knew the words to every single song. We are so proud of you, Keontay. Keontay had 8 fans just for him--Mimi, Papa, Papa Val, Grandma, Mom, Dad, Daysha and Mathew. Beloved little boy.

Wadell's visit from Texas

2012-01-01T21:01:00.000-08:00

I remember when I lived in Syracuse, NY (student ward) and we had some friends who commented that they got so bummed when a lot of their good friends moved away that they kind of backed off. I totally didn't get it as I was very good at keeping in touch with my old friends. But, dang, I get it now. I LOVE Tiff and her family. Hanging out with them is always so comfortable and fun. There are some others out there (St George, Hope Mills, Ojai) that I dearly miss, just like Tiff, but I'm not so good at keeping in touch. Just know you're deep in my heart. Auld Lang Syne. You're all my soul sisters.

Keontay's Soccer Party

2012-01-01T20:59:00.000-08:00

Keontay had another fun year with his soccer team.

(These might get out of order since I'm trying to put everything from 2011 on the blog right now to publish it and put it on my shelf as my journal.)

First Day of Cub Scouts

2012-01-01T20:30:00.000-08:00

Keontay has been super excited to be an official cub scout. His Dad got him the full uniform (super huge since we plan a lengthy career) and I sewed the patches on wrong and am still putting off hemming the pants up a full foot. I can't decide to cut it before I hem it. Maybe I won't have to decide if I wait long enough.

Since all is fair in love and the living room Daysha and Mommy got a photo right after. She causes enough mischief to be a scout so she can be the mascot.

Early Morning Reading Session

2012-01-01T20:23:00.000-08:00

We have something major to celebrate. The kids are pretty well trained in the morning to let us sleep. We rarely have to resort to yelling, "Go away!" And the only thing that necessitates that is their joint yelling "1-2-3-DAD! POUND POUND POUND.....1-2-3- DAD!" so they can ask permission for a cookie. But that's not to say no sneaking around is going on. I found that broken vase and dirt everywhere on the carpet behind the couch. Nobody fessed up to it, except for Daysha who didn't do it. So he wrote some sentences and we continue believing unsupervised mornings are more good than bad.

Thanksgiving in Danville

2012-01-01T16:26:00.000-08:00

The day after Thanksgiving we had another feast with Grandma and Grandpa and Great Grandma and Grandpa Jensen in Danville. Grandpa Jensen was even up to carving the turkey... a great contribution as he can't eat anything himself. We love that the kids are able to spend time with their great-grandparents. They are such wonderful people and examples.

Aaron's new baby!

2011-12-30T22:01:00.001-08:00

No name yet, but she's strong, fast and FUN! We love her even though she's already taken over the garage and punched holes in the sheetrock.

Aaron's preference is FAST and tight circles. Mine is medium and mostly straight. Daysha's is camped on my lap. Keontay's is squooshed between the three of us up front begging for a turn to drive.

This is what I'm talking about! If only we had wet suits!

Christmas Eve dinner at our house

2011-12-30T21:35:00.001-08:00

With Dorothy and Val. We ate Pork, pumpkin polenta, Caesars salad, bread, cherry cream cheese jello and custard. I LOVED being able to host it as I could plan the menu and cook for everybody. The only problem was when Dorothy and Val showed up none of the food was ready and we were still unshowered in our exercise clothes. Aaron calls it the Christmas disaster, just like he called the cat in the field the Christmas cat and somebody's ailment the Christmas _ _ _ _ _. The Christmas disaster was when we were romping through the playground and lost the key. We had to enter the house like a robber to get in. Not easy considering the thorough way Aaron keeps things locked up around here. But we dashed around and got dinner on the table by 5:30. It was so much fun!

Daysha's Christmas Eve loot from Grandma and Grandpa(minus the dollhouse).

Aaron read from Luke 2 and we sang a song after dinner and before opening Christmas presents.
Keontay could barely be contained. He wanted to open presents NOW. But he made it.

Val helped Keontay put things together. The water purifier is still unwrapped in the bottom left-hand corner. It's one of my favorite gifts. The water tastes SO good. Thank you, Dorothy and Val!

pre-mess

Keontay's loot minus the Star Wars X-Box game that came out on the 28th. His robe, the wad in the upper left-hand corner, was one of his favorite gifts. He grinned from ear to ear and was so happy to put it on.

Captain Kirk

2011-12-27T22:07:00.000-08:00

Captain Kirk had dinner with us tonight, a fully articulating 12 inch tall plastic version of Captain Kirk. This was Keontay's present to his Dad. I glanced over at Kirk, whom Keontay calls Captain Clerk, and pointed out that he didn't really look like Captain Kirk. Keontay says, "You can take him back if you want." He's starting to sound like me as I say that for presents I give him, just in case he wants to exchange them. But we couldn't exchange this gift, it was given in love. I have a sneaking suspicion that those people who are stymied by what to give Aaron as a gift will fall back on interplanetary regalia. He already has a full set of Next Generation action figures. And Keontay thinks the starfleet insignia on the shirts is an A for Aaron. I guess it's nice that when your kids are little their world can revolve around you.

Steven Stephens

2011-12-27T22:04:00.000-08:00

Keontay got a fish for Christmas. Before we got him, Keontay wanted to name the fish after his cousin, Ethan. "Ethan Stephens," he declared. Christmas day the fish was named "Steven Stephens." Today the fish was renamed "Randy Stephens." Unfortunately he listens when I speak. It's a Siamese fighting fish. I was holding up a mirror to the tank and laughing as it fought itself. I told Aaron what I thought it's name should be and Keontay was listening. Hopefully he'll change the fish's name before that one sticks.

Little Boy Oblivion

2011-12-27T19:18:00.000-08:00

I know what turkeys do when they want a girl. They puff themselves full of feathers and walk really slowly, as if they know the world doesn't want to take their eyes off of them. I've even seen one get distracted and parade around a shiny black truck admiring his astonishing allure.

But what do eight-year-old boys do when there's a cute girl behind them in line at See's Candy? Aaron was kind enough to clue me in on the process.

They start trying to do the splits. It doesn't matter if they are wearing pants that are so tight it's a mystery they can walk (He claims they are his favorite pants when we ask if we can donate them yet.). When they can't do the splits they ask their Dad to do the splits, maybe to get some pointers. When Dad isn't in to doing the splits they just keep trying, right in the middle of the store, right in the middle of the taut denim.

It reminds me of the "Cheerleader" episode of Malcolm in the Middle. There may be good intentions in there, but they get scrambled by little boy oblivion.

Speaking of little boy oblivion....Aaron and I were running obstacle courses at the park the other day, making up a list of stunts and timing each other. Keontay wanted to play. So we explained how it worked as a game, pointed out the list of obstacles to do and got the stop watch ready. But then he explained that he wanted to do his own. Aaron got exasperated and started to explain. But I have a bit more experience with this (Agree quickly with thine adversary....) so I quickly acquiesced, pushed the button and said, "go." We laughed for the full three minutes while he ran frantically around the playground, sometimes stopping briefly to sit on a random bench or strolling across a picnic table.

"Did I win?" he asked as he came back.

"Well, the only way to know that..." I started to explain. But Aaron knew about agreeing quickly and said, "Well, since you're the only one who played this course you did!"

Daysha's Proscenium Christmas Performance

2011-12-12T13:47:00.000-08:00

Daysha's musical theater class did Christmas in Mexico. I was laughing so hard I was crying. She was so uninhibited and full-force. She was wonderful and a complete joy to watch.

Chloe got a little shy so we didn't get to see her perform, but she loves the classes so much they'll probably be in the class again next time.

I'll have to ask her teacher if this was taught or if Daysha just innately felt to spread 'em wide to soak up the applause. None of the other kids did this.

This is how she ends her performances. It's more like an encore since she holds the position so long.

Here's Daysha with her teacher, Kim Dudley.

Sugar

2011-12-10T15:12:00.001-08:00

Daysha was singing and dancing in a performance with her musical theater group this afternoon. All the girls said their name and what they loved about Christmas, which was usually presents. Daysha said, "my name is Daysha and I love making cookies with my brother, Keontay."

Authentic Sugar

2011-12-06T19:25:00.000-08:00

Aaron got the kids Mary Poppins to watch. Daysha's been singing the 'spoonful of sugar' song, which is the song that inspired my sugar posts. She has her own version....

"A spoonful of sugar helps the Mexican go down...the Mexican go down...the Mexican go down."

Thanksgiving Pictures

2011-12-02T22:07:00.000-08:00

One of the things I love most about my Aunt Terri is how inclusive she is with everybody she meets. Her house has always been full with friends, family and anybody else she thinks would love to be invited. Without her we wouldn't have had any of these Thanksgiving pictures. She made sure to include a picture of every person and every thing. Thank you, Aunt Terri!

I'm so glad Hans was here with his family. One of my favorite things is singing with him. He has a wonderful voice.

Singing time!

Aaron brought Shao-Lin soccer for everybody to enjoy. It's pretty funny, if you don't take it too seriously, like I did the first time I saw it with him.

Hillary loves to share the above chair with everybody, especially with Joel. She is the best at giving everybody a hug when she greets them.

Becky is about the have her third, Aiden. They live in a town a half hour out of Napa.

Cindy Medlar and her husband, Jerry, joined us this year and brought an emergency bird to make sure we had enough turkey for the masses (40 total). Mom organized all the dishes, cleaned and prepped. Thank you, Mom!

George's sister, Denise, also adopted her son through Sierra Forever Families, where we adopted our kids. We have a lot of adoption in our family. One of Dad's brothers and his sister are adopted and two of my cousins are adopted.

Kennedy was great with the little kids. She played with them a lot.

Aunt Tami, Denise and Heather

Morgan and Austin are getting so big. I can't believe it's been two years since I've seen them!

Aunt Terri

Uncle George and Uncle Rocky

Dad and the bird

Super Moms

2011-12-02T21:11:00.000-08:00

If you're a super mom you know it. You know it because you're so worn out that you just lie on the floor in front of the fire as you listen to the kids work things out on their own because you just can't bring yourself to initiate mediation.

Heather and I had a super mom morning. My morning started out with me lying face down on the carpet (in front of the fire) while the IPad babysat Daysha. (Not too bad of a situation. She was dancing and singing with some guy on a basketball court--PBS Kids--the one time I checked on her.) My body had given out. It's going through a lot right now--won't let me sleep so well, temperature issues. So, I gave it a day of rest. I called my sister over to spice up "lie down on the floor" day. She joined me. We left the dishes on the counter and the cut-up papers all over the floor while we lay, barely motionless except for some finger typing as we organized bits of our lives, had some therapy sessions, sat in worn-out silence and dodged three sets of bouncing legs. After lunch we got smart and left one super mom on the floor to simulate supervision while the other went upstairs to black out into nap oblivion. This rare nap was such a wonderful retreat that I am just barely regaining thought process. But I know enough to feel deep gratitude for a sister who joins me in super mom endeavors.

After this exemplary display of motherhood we took off to join the true super mom. She was having a sleepover for the boys and welcomed the girls to the preliminary burger and movie. Mom cracks me up. She is the biggest mover and shaker I've ever known. I get to our meeting place, still not able to put together a sentence or make a decision about whether I'll be joining them.

"What's wrong with you?" Mom asks after my confused look and mumbled attempt at communication.

"I still can't wake up from my nap," I explain.

"Ok then," she finishes. Next thing I know she's up and out the door and we're all following. Good thing we're not all on the floor!

Just one more super mom tribute. I was hugging and kissing Pippers (Heather's two-year-old, Caleb). Then he showed me the special, green surprise he had on the end of his finger. I gently put him back down in his seat and went to sit in my seat. Without missing a beat Heather swipes the boogie off of his finger with her BARE FINGERS and goes to the bathroom to wash them. She's got eleven years and four doses of mothering under her belt--puke, poopoo, boogers. I think she's immune. Since I missed much of the diaper years and don't even have three years under my belt I may miss the immunity that comes from being repeatedly infected. I'm okay with that. I'll find something else to be awesome at.

Instinct

2011-12-02T20:52:00.000-08:00

So, my friend with the border collie and I met on our morning walk again today. Nobody mentioned anything about human howling (or was caught doing it), so that was a bonus. Mr. morning friend was busy explaining/introducing the benign character and instinctual behavior of his dog.

"He's an Australian Border collie. He's very gentle. I love to let him walk out here without a leash. He's trying to round you up. It's his instinct."

For pretty much the whole way as I walked through the field back to the road the dog pranced before me, facing me, trying to get me to continue my walk the other way, where his master was going.

I felt a deep reverence for this dog. He was doing his best at doing what he was born and bred to do. Yes, it made no sense in this situation. Mr. morning friend and I didn't even know each others' names and our walking paces were probably way off. But, there was the Australian border collie (BC) facing me, trying to convince me. And his master understood what he was doing and why. The master continued to call out to him to come back, which BC finally did when BC saw I was out to the road already.

This made me think of my children. Instinct tells them to stay in my face so they won't be forgotten, again. Instinct tells them to be right by my side, always watching me closely to see how I feel about them. Are they okay? Will I think they are bad? Will I reject them?

They are innocents. They are beautiful and they are darling. I love them.

Thank you, Mr. morning friend, for loving your dog. You're helping me reverence my children.

Adios Papeles

2011-12-02T19:44:00.000-08:00

This is a tribute to yesteryear....the glory days, when our worth could be measured by the letter on the top of a paper. We don't have our worth in letters on papers anymore. It's more in words, mainly the words we tell ourselves after a long day when nobody but us knows the effort we put into doing the same thing over and over. But, let's get back to yesteryear. Thanks for the memories. Hasta la vista, baby. Aaron is cleaning out his papers!!!! His high school vocabulary papers are tediously being scanned, page after page, with nostalgia before he tosses them in the black mesh garbage pail. I'm all for this process. He's still a little hesitant.

We both agree, though, that the sin/cosin chart on the 5x7 has got to stay. It's made it for the last 20+ years. Hopefully it will make it another 20. (AAACKKKK! maybe I should rethink this!?) It's a little too funny/endearing that these things have even been around so long.

I do have to say, though, (and since nobody can stop me since this is my blog) that it's helped me get to know him a little better when I see that his teachers wrote:

"very logical"

or

"a two-sentence conclusion--Give me a break!"

(now he's showing me some pretty graphs, colored maps of Europe and "freehand work"--a circle with a line through it) Mainly he remembers his passion for math and science and misses it. Our souls are tuned to what we love when we're young and we gradually bring ourselves to doing what we must to carry ourselves and our children through life clothed, housed and well-fed.

That's an amazing, selfless choice we all make, but BZZZT on complete deadness to intrinsic passion ignition!

Keep the flame alive! Even though these papers are being tossed it doesn't mean we're giving up on our passions, right, Aaron?! We're still developing our talents. For instance, you're taking piano lessons. Yes, he rolls his eyes, and wonders why I need to watch him and listen before I pass him on a song (for suggestions on fingering, dynamics, and form). But he seems to have a talent for it and it's very exciting to see how fast he picks up the piano. Maybe the glory days are still to come and all these papers can fly away and settle back down somewhere else (far, far away) like the dust thrown up by a pickup truck tearing down a dirt road, the dirt road of life. ba-da-bum

Sugar

2011-11-27T16:37:00.001-08:00

Daysha sees some geese in the sky. "The turkeys are flying to find their momma. Right, Mom?"

"Yep." She's ALWAYS asking me if people have mommas. She even goes up to people and asks them if they have a mom.

____________

At church the kids chose to sit in the second row from the front in the center pews. Aaron had asked them where they wanted to sit. I NEVER ask. If I got there on time I would be sitting in the very back pew so when the partition is opened for more people I can bolt even farther back. But, in the front we were. It turns out it was the best place to perform. We did a couple acts of "GIVE ME MY PEN!!!" "WAAAA!!!" "NOOOOO!" and we did a couple more acts of "That's my POPCORN!" "WHERE'S MINE?!!!" "WAAAAA!"(even thought Keontay does not get food in church.) But Keontay gave us the grand finale...

"I have to go to the bathroom!" he declares, horrified and shocked, in his non-whispering church voice. He stands up and rushes out. I did not watch to see how fast. I'm just glad he only announced it once. Or so I thought. Next thing I know he's right beside me tugging in terror on his belt. I stealthily unbuckle it so as not to cause even more distraction. But he rips it out of all belt loops in seconds and holds it high in the air until I take it. Then he rushes back out.

At dinner that night Dad asked how church was. "Good," I say. Then I tell the above story.

"I thought you said it was good!" he said. "That's not good."

"Dad," I explain, "if I don't have to drag eighty pounds to the 'calm and safe' room by one arm while he's limp on the floor then it's a good day."

Date night with the k meister!

2011-11-27T15:20:00.001-08:00

Keontay and I got to go on a date together! We had worked hard all day to make our house clean for the holiday weekend. I am so glad he can be such a good helper.

Stuff sorting

2011-11-26T11:23:00.001-08:00

Aaron is rediscovering the exciting intricacies of his life as he sorts through his bags of stuff. He didn't remember that he had joined the planetary society. But today he proudly wears his sticker. His star trek bookmark was another exciting find

Keontay's Baptism

2011-11-24T20:29:00.001-08:00

So, Keontay wanted to get baptized and was even looking forward to it. I think a big part of it was seeing his two older cousins, Ethan and Luke, getting baptized earlier this year and two years ago. We had a lot of FHE lessons getting ready for the big day. We picked out pictures together for his video, we even took a dry run in the font and showed him the room where he would change. He couldn't even handle being in the Primary Program this year so we were keeping our fingers crossed that he would go through with his baptism. Despite the sour expression in some of these photos there were hardly any glitches on his end. He was really good for the whole thing and even went through with taking another round at being baptized since his little foot came up the first time around.

When Aaron first asked him to get dressed he yelled a quick, "No!" So Aaron and I both kind of ignored it for a bit and then I took him in and he got dressed no problem. WooHoo! Small compliance is a big blessing around here.

The day after Keontay's baptism Aaron bore his testimony in church. He told about how baptizing Keontay was the first baptism he has ever done. The first time he baptized Keontay (when his foot came up) he felt nothing. But the second time (when Keontay was completely immersed) he said he felt this wonderful feeling of joy. I should say! Being a parent is missionary work, and Aaron should feel great joy in his parenting of Keontay. He puts his whole soul, mind and body (sleep deficit) into it.

Thanks, Yidda, for snapping a smile!

A special thank you to so many people! Thank you Mimi for the cinnamon rolls and playing the piano. Thank you, Dorothy for the fruit salad and prayer. Thank you, Heather, for the leading the music (no red-face, yay!) and for making the beautiful CD. Thank you Grandpas for the talks. Thank you, Aaron, for being a worthy priesthood holder to lead and guide our family and bless and baptize our children. Thank you, Bishop, for being there early, printing the program with the songs already in it and making everything run smoothly. Thank you Sara (Bishop's wife) for coming even though you were sick, coming home early from your vacation so you could be here and going back to my house (with Brother Goold--thank you too) to search through the tornado wreckage for the DVD I thought I had lost, but was in the back of my car. Thank you to those who came to show your love and support, and for waiting patiently while I searched high and low for that DVD. Your coming meant so much to us. And THANK YOU, KEONTAY, for choosing to be baptized. We are so proud of you!

Two against the animal kingdom

2011-11-20T15:34:00.001-08:00

A man and his collie came upon me while I was howling in the fields at 7am.
"I'm telling that coyote where I am," I blurted, not thinking that could make up for it.
"They're usually more scared of us than we are of them," he added.

So, I'm hoping that if our morning walks happen to cross again that he'll still consider me to be of average sanity. But if he doesn't I can console myself that I am in good company. One of my friends was unfortunate enough to come across two large, angry badgers while he stood lonesome in some Idaho fields. Star trek came to his rescue. He pulled open wide his trench coat (to appear larger) and began a long, loud and guttural speech in Klingon. The badgers fled in fear. If you too have stood bravely in the face of animal peril do not be ashamed. You are with us.

Can you suck your eardrum out with a household vacuum?

2011-11-20T09:42:00.001-08:00

I think this is so hilarious that I can't take it seriously enough to call the er. Aaron is so adamant, even though his own authority is the only one he cites, that he feels hope for his cause as I post this. You are the authorities.

By the way, I had just buzzed Aaron's hair and was trying my best to minimize tiny hair pollution in my bathroom through the use of my vacuum nozzle. Only the loose hairs behind his ear were in my crosshairs. There was no knowing attempt at eardrum annihilation.

True dat

2011-11-19T20:12:00.001-08:00

Christmas Caroling Monday, December 19th!!

2011-11-19T08:53:00.000-08:00

So, all you people out there who read our blog (I think most of you are family and friends out of state)!!! We're having a Christmas caroling party at our house at 6:45pm on Monday, December 19th. We're going to start with wassail and then head out the door at 7pm. We'd love to have you come! Please pass it on. We'll be ending with hot chocolate. Even if you make your own notes up as you sing we'd love to have you! This is a word-of-mouth thing so spread the word, if you can. Rain date is Thursday the 22nd.

My new friend

2011-11-19T08:48:00.001-08:00

My new friend is not R2D2. It's his distant, benevolent ancestor, the electronic pressure cooker. It cooks my beets in no time. I've never tasted better artichokes. I can make foil-wrapped dinners (frozen hamburger patty, carrots, quartered potatoes and onion soup mix) in five minutes. I can put in sausage, tomato sauce and uncooked brown rice noodles to make a yummy rigatoni dish in six minutes. I use it at least twice a day. Chef Brad says it locks in all the flavors and vitamins because no steam escapes as it cooks. Mashed potatoes cooked in seven minutes. I just washed about ten potatoes, quartered them (no peeling), put them in with a half cup of water and focused on the rest of dinner. When it was done I mashed them and added some butter and milk. I love technology!

Sugar

2011-11-19T08:12:00.000-08:00

Keontay's class at school has been practicing Oliver Twist and Annie songs for a Christmas performance. They gave him a CD to take home and practice. He can't get enough of it! He plays it and reads the words as soon as he gets up in the morning. The music is playing through breakfast and beyond. Yesterday he watched the movie Annie. He'll explain the songs to me, "This is where some nice, rich people are taking care of Oliver," and he'll shove the script in my face to show me. Yesterday I was practicing "Orphan Girl" on the guitar and his ears perk up, "Orphan?" His favorite movies used to be Dumbo (Dumbo's Mom is taken away because they think she's mad.) and Bambi (Bambi's mother dies). He's finding his comrades with whom he can identify. Maybe one day his happy ending will be more real to him than his traumatic beginning.

When we do scripture study in the morning Aaron opens the floor up to those who want to request a song or make a comment. Keontay was asking for the song about the "little string." It took us a while to figure out it was "Give, said the little stream." This reminded us of the "High-fiving flag" that Keontay never believed was the "high-flying flag." If he has to accept this senselessness at face value no wonder he doesn't work to comprehend what's going on. We had parent teacher conferences and she said he was a good reader; he just didn't have good comprehension. Maybe the first thing you have to believe is that there is some sense to the whole thing and not just maniacal craziness to traumatize you.

Daysha is a people person. She's right beside me almost all day--with occasional trips to the swing or sandbox. I'm not a people person. Even when I was a baby I'd get enough of the hugs and kisses and push people away. I need my space a bit. Accommodating her requirements has been challenging for me. Nevertheless I felt very proud that I acquiesced to wrap a blanket around her like a fruit roll up and rock her as long as she needed. We rocked and rocked. It was the day after a very hard day for me and my need to be held all day was fresh in my mind. I wondered if she had felt my malaise and needed to be comforted herself and know that I was comforted as well. After a while she said, "Mommy, my tummy still hurts." I didn't get, until then, that I was her medicine.

We had Ken from Awesome Appliance Repair come over to fix our washing machine. Daysha LOVES people, as I've already said. When another guy came to clean and seal our grout (waste of money, just use straight, white vinegar) she was down there for hours chatting with him. Here's her conversation:

"My Dad's name is Aaron."

"Is that so?" said Ken.

"What's your baby's name, Day?" I prompted.

"Mykolesh," she said and then laughed because she knows how entertaining we find it.

"My skin is brown and my skin is black," she told Ken.

"So's mine," he said.

She likes her skin and she likes her hair. Her little friend down the road is a tow-head who is convinced her hair is getting black underneath because she wants it to be like Daysha's hair. When she tells Daysha she likes her hair and it's pretty Daysha says, "I know." You just keep knowing that, baby girl!

We were watching the news the other day and I got up to start dinner. Daysha called me back, "Mommy, that guy is still talking to you!" I guess she wanted to help me pinpoint the center of her universe.

Let it be known, Easy-Bake cakes are coming out our ears...in the morning before school, after school and after dinner. Anybody want some cake mix mixed with a teaspoon of water, heated by a light bulb and parsed out into sharing-size pieces by licked over fingers? It might not be received well on a menu, but the delivery sure makes up for it.

Keontay's Baptism Video

2011-11-13T09:42:00.000-08:00

Keontay's baptism video:

http://youtu.be/1PfKF3Y8dkw

Heather made this for us and we love it. Thank you, Heather!

Morning Walks

2011-11-13T08:35:00.000-08:00

I am reaping the benefits of Aaron's morning dedication to Keontay. I now get time to go on a walk almost every morning. I love this time. If I leave before the sun is up I go clockwise so most of the time I face the colorful sunrise.

If I leave after the sun is up (time change) then I go counterclockwise so I can see the white dew crystals in the shape of plants. It looks better in person.

Halloween Haunts

2011-11-13T08:12:00.000-08:00

Donut-Eating Contest

the MC in her finery

Our Pumpking Patch trips this year were happy happenstance. The first was at Fog Willow Farms in Wilton for Jennifer's third birthday (above). I LOVE the farm as it's in a beautiful setting, and has lots for the kids to see and do. The second was up in Napa with the Holstens (below). From these we got two pumpkins the kids were able to "carve" in order to complete the holiday. Neither one of my kids are into arts, crafts or carving so a quick experiment in tradition is perfect for all.

Isabella (above) is a new big sister. She has the sweetest baby brother, Mathew. I can't wait to go up and be with them again.

Mimi created a carnival at her home. Keontay was bobbing for apples. Not many people did it. The germ concentration was just too rich for Aaron. I went first so me and half of my hair and head could do the first germ introduction. But, I did get an apple, which is exactly the bonus I needed after the donut-on-a-string eating contest and cake walk treats. The fishing booth was a special treat for all (Fat's restaurant gift card and babysitting for adults). Mimi treats terrifically. Thank you!

cake walk

Before going to Mimi's Carnival we stopped by Grandma and Grandpa's for some dandy treats: Pokemon for Keontay and a dance DVD and CD for Daysha.

Keontay Celebrates Eight

2011-11-13T07:22:00.000-08:00

At Mimi's house he got his requested dinner, ribs and strawberry cake. She also gifted him with a hex bug track, panda pillow pet and lego thing. Thank you, Mimi!

We celebrated Keontay's birthday on the Saturday before at a Laser Tag place with his friends Quinn, Emily, Giddeon, Lukie and Ethan.

I made cookies for his soccer treat that day and decided to make more. He wanted those cookies instead of cupcakes for his party. Yippee!

Last Christmas Keontay asked for an Easy Bake oven. So, I found one on sale the other day and got it. Aaron wasn't into it when he saw the box covered in happy, smiling girls wearing pink. Keontay wasn't into it when he saw those girls. I told him I'd be happy to take it back and get something else for him, but he noticed that the oven was blue. So, we threw away the box and kept the oven (a piece of plastic with a 100 watt bulb inside). Since he's so into the Kitchen Krafts section of the Friend and treats at Family Night, keeping it was something I thought he would use. When his cousins came over yesterday he broke out the Easy Bake oven. They are so cute. When they first heard of the oven they just said, "Oh." When they were at our house they expounded a little bit more, "I saw the commercial where the girls were smiling, dancing and singing when their cakes came out." So, of course, they had to plan out who would be smiling and dancing as the cakes came out, but they made and ate the cakes all the same.

Sugar

2011-11-10T20:56:00.001-08:00

Daysha:

The tables turned. I was the one to spill a bowl of corn chowder all over the floor and my clothing. As I knelt to clean it up Daysha was kneeling right by my side, "Oh! Mommy!" she says as she grabs the cords of my hoodie and holds them so they don't get in the mess. "It's okay," I say. "I can always just clean it up." I think I need to give her a lot more lessons in "It's okay. We can clean it up." Good thing she gives me a million opportunities a day.

With the time change Daysha has been extra tired. Just about after lunch she sits motionless with her eyes glazed. Nevertheless she fights "quiet time." So I've devised a plan to trick her into it. I tell her that if she can lay quietly in her bed with her eyes closed she only has to lie still for fifteen minutes. If she opens her eyes it's longer. I usually go in to check on her to see how progress is going and if I can get my hopes up at all. Doing this I've found that she is an obedient little doll. I'll go in and peer over to see her closed eyelids fluttering as she works to keep them closed or I'll be right before her face and she won't see me because her eyes are closed. I love this little girl.

The kids are experts at teasing and being teased. Even though Daysha's name calling skills are quite immature (may that stay that way forever) she can get a rise out of Keontay if she even just puts the wrong inflection on his given name. Last night we were parked by the side of the road in our car waiting for Keontay to master his "safe and calm" routine independently outside in the parking lot. Daysha was watching "Shaun the Sheep" on my iphone. When Keontay got in she was calling him "Shaun the Sheep" and instructed her Dad to call him "Shaun the sheep" too. Then she began to call him "Shaun" and then "Shaun the Baptist."

Keontay:

Keontay is becoming attached. He loves all of his stuffed animals and recently got a pillow pet for his birthday. I'm no therapist so I'm not sure what this means. But I get so excited that he feels safe enough to attach.

Another of Keontay's attachments is to his best friend, Giddeon. He came home from school to tell me (with joy in his whole body) that he had told Giddeon that he was his first best friend and Giddeon had told him that he was his first best friend too. Then he began to list all the same things they loved...soccer, pokemon, and scaring the "golden finches" out of the fields behind our house.

Mystery Family History Book

2011-10-30T12:32:00.000-07:00

My Aunt has a family history book with lots of photos in it and we don't know who these people are (besides Lorenzo Snow). So I thought I'd post some of the photos below. The surnames we think this belongs to that are in the line we think it comes from are:
William Wood 1837 England
Elizabeth Gentry 1845 England
George Goddard 1815 England
Mary Sutton 1833 England
John Drummond Hunter 1819 Scotland
Ann Forbes Scott 1822 Scotland
George Burnside 1817 Scotland
Mary Monroe Harwood 1836 Scotland

Youth Temple Beautification Project

2011-10-30T12:24:00.000-07:00

Aaron recently took the kids with him on a Saturday morning youth service project.

Morning Madness

2011-10-30T10:16:00.000-07:00

Aaron has decided to take over mornings in our house. He is determined to be consistent and get the steps to "do it for you....do it with you....independence" progression rolling now so the investment will pay off someyear soon. To solve the homework crisis he is helping Keontay with his spelling on the weekends and finishing the math in the morning of the same the day it will be assigned. He has also taken to getting Keontay ready in the mornings and is even walking him to school. Daysha loves this arrangement because she gets to walk to school with Keontay. On this particular morning (a brisk, fall one) she decided it was the perfect day for a bathing suit. Keontay was running. Aaron was running. They were all having a great time. The only one a bit concerned was a neighbor/friend of mine who saw the screaming parade and has heard some stories of the circuses we can unwillingly host in our home. But this was a happy circus and these clowns were happy clowns. They've got a great Dad.

A butterfly and a vampire

2011-10-30T07:23:00.001-07:00

Daysha was really excited all day Saturday to go to the trunk or treat. On the way home she kept rejecting the candy from her bag asking who wanted it. Keontay kept telling her she had to try it first. I let it be known she can reject any candy she deems yucky based solely on ignorance and prejudice towards packaging. When Keontay decided to become the lucky recipient and began chowing down....

"I want it!!" she demanded. Keontay didn't relent.
"Mom!" she implored.
"Well, maybe if you ask him nicely," I suggest. She did and he still wasn't giving in.
"Well, Day, you did give it to him. I guess you're going to have to work it out somehow."
"Okay, Keontay, I'm working it out. Can I have some?" she asked again.
"No," he says.
"One....two.....threee..." she starts counting, but nothing moves him. She howls a bit.
"Hey, Day," I say, "What else is in your bag?"
Crisis diverted.

To Keontay's credit, he usually shares with her. This morning he offered her his own candy.

Super proud: I sewed Day's costume from some 88cent adult clown pants. Keontay's makeup is my darkest pressed powder and some eyeshadow.

Sugar Smacks

2011-10-27T15:40:00.000-07:00

Keontay woke up in a yelling-screaming sort of mood. As his Dad dragged him out the door to go to school, in a nice way, of course, he hurled his worst insult at me, "GO TO JAIL, MOM!" It might be more peaceful there, but it still doesn't appeal to me. I'm here to show you that I won't go to jail. Despite your previous experience, this Mom is going to stick around. And if I just keep smiling nobody will have reason to cart me off.

Notes on Complex Trauma Seminar

2011-10-16T19:32:00.001-07:00

These are my notes from Aaron and my recently attended conference presented by Arthur Becker-Weidman. He is the Director of the Center for Family Development in Williamsville NY.:

Complex Trauma occurs when a child aged 3-5 suffers early chronic maltreatment in a care-giving relationship.
People with a broad and deep support system weather trauma best. (Thank you to all of you out there who provide this for my children!!! We are so grateful for you!)
The most frequent difficulties in children with complex trauma are: emotional regulation problesm, problems with attention, negative self-image, impulse control and aggression/risk taking.)
Traumatized children want to be treated in a way that is familiar. If they have a negative self-image they will try to recreate that all around them.
To help traumatized children (TC) we can create intimacy so that they have a therapeutic relationship. That means disconnecting my buttons!!
"Am I ready to feel as powerless as they do?"
Treat causes, not symptoms.
Foster kind attributions. Assume their intentions are good.
Good Parenting: Do for them....do with them...independence. Learn to enjoy doing work, chores together. Make things fun.
Parent Capacity determine treatment outcome. Parent capacity is important in five areas: attachment history, reflective funcion, flexibility, self-awareness and sensitivity.
Provide a Healing PLACE: Playful (avoid power struggles), Loving, Accepting (underlying driving feelings are OK even if the behavior isn't), Curious (What do you mean? Avoid use of "why?"), Empathic.
Frame everything in terms of the relationship. "We are in this together." Don't frame within right/wrong context. It's about connections, not compliance.
Repair relationships with consequences. Not related to punishment, but related to the incident.
Let the school handle their behavior.
Homework: Don't ask if they have it. Doing homework is about creating a warm, loving relationship. Say, "I'd like you to be able to go outside and have a good time at recess." Empathize with getting in the red book and not going to recess. This is about connecting with them.
When a child first comes into the home take them out of school to bond with family. Federal law requires the school district providing a tutor when the child is taken out of school for a medical reason. Trauma is a medical reason.
Help the child regulate. It's not about them jumping when we say jump.

Sugar

2011-10-16T11:57:00.000-07:00

Daysha:

She gives her children (baby dolls) odd names like "Kolash-a-bob-way." When I ask what her baby's names are, to be polite as I pass them tea, she just keeps waving her tongue in her mouth. I had to shorten it to the above five syllables.
Aaron and she were on a run/bike ride. Aaron said she talked the whole time. She even slammed on her brakes to declare (at the chalk line drawn across the sidewalk) "Look, somebody drew my name!!!" She knows how to draw an H and an A now.

Keontay:

Keontay loves the Friend magazine. He find the Kitchen Krafts section from all of the magazines and lays them out on the table so he can choose the best one for us to make that night.
Keontay is not afraid of doing a little policing. He tells me that Daysha' oversized PJ tank top (which she likes to put on feet first) is immodest. Then he has a five minute conversation with my 20-something year old cousin that a particular video game has too much fighting and he shouldn't be playing it.

Time Out for Women -- Reno

2011-10-16T11:39:00.000-07:00

I can't imagine a better weekend. Mom, Yidda, Aunt Pat, hotels, buffets, shopping and inspirational talks and music from Time Out for Women.

After the boot shopping and makeovers.

Some highlights from the Conference are:

got a clicker to count our positive thoughts/day
Expect hard things of ourselves and let our Spirits be in charge
Sing kids to sleep...the quickest way to stability is easy traditions
catch children doing stuff right and praise them when put them to bed.
God tests everyone uniquely and equally. Our trials/tests are laser guided to help us improve.
Don't compare. It makes things seem unfair. Jesus did not compare Mary and Martha. He said, "She has chosen that good [not better] part," because it was good for her to do that then.
My personality is fit for my individual mission in my life.
I've been sent here to find out who I am.
Ask God what He wants me to do each day and listen for the answer.
The winds blow us to our Promised Land (where Heavenly Father and Jesus are).
The essentials (revelation, scripture reading), necessaries (safe place where family feels the spirit) and nice to do's. When we take care of the essentials and necessaries we find time for the nice to dos daily.
Pray, think and live with faith. Ask and it shall be given.
"Don't you dare be the one thing standing in your way."
Our possibilities are greater than our boundaries.
Josephn bought into his vision (Genesis 37) even through exclusion, slavery and prison because the Lord was with Him.
Ask for vision from God of who He wants us to be. god has an intention for who He needs us to be.

Soccer Fans

2011-10-16T11:32:00.000-07:00

Even though the above photo was texted to Keontay after her finished his spelling homework on Saturday (not after he won his game) I am becoming a big soccer fan. He's been able to get me to focus on the game and out of my seat cheering. He will tell you all about it if you ask. We didn't know it, but according to urban legend (of his own creation) he hasn't lost a game in three years.

...and this little lady texts me shots like this while I'm away so that I start missing her in every brown face I see.

Here's to the Man

2011-10-16T11:16:00.000-07:00

Spending a sunny day floating on a boat in a sewer pond may not be an enviable position, but from my standpoint it's quite an impressive accomplishment. Mom, Heather and I stopped by Dad's trailer park on the way to Reno this past Saturday. We wanted to see him in action. This is the place he's spent much of his working life. As he's been in the business of landlording I've occasionally gone out to help him repaint, wash and toss things in the garbage. But we've never seen the sewer pond. We've only seen it's effects when he has come home to recoup on the couch (after the shower, of course). He's also told us of times when he's literally been up to his waste in it (the bad it) and sticking his arm in it to dislodge it. Now that is a man! Feeding his family regardless of the personal cost. I love you, DAD!

Dad's new water pumps or water purifier things.

When Mom saw the piles of junk she commented that she would get garbage trucks up there ASAP. Dad said he had, but they keep tossing. And when it's difficult enough to get them to pay their rent he definitely won't get the money for the clean up fees.

The issue is cleaning up the duckweed and taking out the cattails so the stuff can properly oxygenize away, or something.

BYU Homecoming Trip

2011-10-16T11:05:00.000-07:00

We took a trip out to BYU for Homecoming this past week. We were so excited to take the kids to our old stomping grounds, and to meet members of my extended family they haven't met before. The highlights were the kids getting to know my Papa (Mom's mom) while we stayed in his house, and also to meet three of my cousins and uncle whom they hadn't met before.

The kids loved running around the trails at Sundance. I love seeing them play together so well, especially after they don't play together so well.

The BYU bowling alley where Grandma and Grandpa met. The arcade games were one of our major lures to enticing Keontay to have the goal of going to BYU someday.

Our second highlight was the BYU football game. Keontay loved every second of it. He loved watching the band do their formations at halftime. He loved keeping track of what was going on in the field. He loved doing the wave. By the time we got home he was asleep and it was midnight. I loved sitting right next to him while he enjoyed something so immensely. Unfortunately we couldn't find the portrait of Papa in the pressbox for Keontay to see, but we'll be back. :)

Fall Festival

2011-10-16T11:02:00.000-07:00

Aaron manned the kids while I manned the cake walk. More fun time sandwiched into a busy day. (This is the same day of the birthday party, General Conference, soccer game and wallpapering Daysha's bedroom.)

The biggest (blank) on the Lake

2011-10-16T10:41:00.000-07:00

Heather had to get out her camera for this one. She bypassed her cute kids playing on the beach. She bypassed Aaron celebrating his 39th birthday. She called out, "Nice outfit!" and snapped a bounteous round of shots, immediately texting them to my parents in Paris. As much as I'm shocked I wasn't arrested for offending other beach-goers I would wear it all again. Those are the BEST pants and that is the BEST hat. My mother-in-law saw some photos of me I put in a book where I was probably trying to win a modeling contest, or so I thought. She commented, "I hide those types of pictures and you put them in a book." It's all about energy. I've learned that the more energy I put into impressing the general public the quicker I seem to come up with the antithesis in the form of a loud snort instead of a laugh (when I was single and talking to Mr Fine), a wild trip with arms flapping like a turkey startled by a car horn, or crazy particles decorating my blouse, which are only wiped off after I'm introduced.
Those types of things used to require vast amounts of energy to put behind me and keep walking. But I've discovered the Mr and Mrs General Public don't know my name and phone number. We're both happy with it that way.

We did have a good time. Our cameras were locked in the locker, but we went 'sailing' in almost no wind. But we had some gusts help us cruise in and out one time. Unfortunately, Aaron didn't get his birthday boat. It's still at the top of his mind. Maybe for the milestone birthday next year?

Sugar

2011-10-02T21:06:00.000-07:00

Daysha: I love watching her run outside to swing on her swing, the one on the spindly branch that can just support her weight. She's also eager to ride her bike everyday. She stands up while pedaling and has recently taken to clapping while pedaling, which has resulted in some face plants on the sidewalk.

Keontay: He was calling us all in for General Conference today. He was VERY good for most of it, working on his bingo sheet and word search, setting up his "tent" like they did in the Book of Mormon to listen to King Benjamin. He also helped his sister and himself to making toast and buttering it. (Aaron wondered what happened to his tub of butter, but not enough to forgo the goodness.)

September Catch-up

2011-10-02T15:34:00.000-07:00

My living leaf pile cruncher downer. Her fabulous talent for destruction has found a happy use. I loved the arrangement. She loved the arrangement. She called it taking a bath and didn't want to get out of the can. As we're both pretty allergic to things this fun-filled event was immediately followed by bathing and allergy medicine.

Above is the ward campout Aaron took the kids to while I was in Napa with the BF and at my TPRS training. The funniest thing about the above pictures is that Mark Payne was still asleep in his sleeping bag on this same air mattress the whole time this pajama party was going on.

She likes shoes. The higher the heel the better.

Daysha #1 and Daysha #2. They're both infinite destructos and mess magnets. Pips was having a hard time going shoeless so I put Daysha's shoes on him. Next thing you know I find them in the bathroom where Daysha is drinking water from a soapy cup and he's drinking water from her filthy, red, plastic shoe. The water was soon on a puddle in the floor and they were both back outside collecting carnage.

Wallpaper in Day's room

2011-10-02T11:23:00.000-07:00

I finally chose the wallpaper to replace Day's blue and white print that was in her room when we bought the house. It came in the mail this week and Mimi came over last night to help me set it up and to teach me how to wallpaper. She once had her own wallpapering business with her friend. I guess they had one client and were as busy exclaiming "woops!" as they were wallpapering. Despite her exclamations she is very talented at gluing up paper and making mistakes disappear. Thanks, Mom!

I quickly painted the orange we will soon have on the upper part of the wall, as soon as we can find a time with the painter I found on Groupon.

SUGAR

2011-09-25T20:39:00.000-07:00

Mary Poppins is singing a song to me (through my memory) about a spoonful of sugar. So, I'm going to try to end my days by recording the sugar from my wee ones. I hope this will sweeten the hours of my day.

Daysha:

When Daysha's bladder only informs her at the last second that it is about to burst she, for some reason, runs over to me, even if I am in the opposite direction of the bathroom, while holding herself with both hands and jumping up and down. I give the startling instruction to go to the bathroom. Her bladder pulled this trick on her again today. I kept doing dishes and said my line. Aaron happened to be home so he ran with her to assist in the drama. He came back.

"It's like the three stooges in there," he said.

"But it's only one person," I said. "I don't get it."

Then Aaron reenacted her whole scenario where she pulled down her pants, hit her bum on the door, spun around and rammed her head into the door. I asked him for a video reenactment. Negatory.

Keontay:

While driving in the car he said, "Mom, do you want to hear a word I made up?"

"A word you made up?" I asked.

"A word I came up with all on my own."

"Ok"

"Orangutan."

"That's a monkey. It's another type of monkey like a gorilla or ape or chimpanzee."

"Is it orange?"

I can lift my hand...

2011-09-25T20:35:00.000-07:00

Corrie Ten Boom Story on Forgiving

“It was in a church in Munich that I saw him—a balding, heavyset man in a gray overcoat, a brown felt hat clutched between his hands. People were filing out of the basement room where I had just spoken, moving along the rows of wooden chairs to the door at the rear. It was 1947 and I had come from Holland to defeated Germany with the message that God forgives.

“It was the truth they needed most to hear in that bitter, bombed-out land, and I gave them my favorite mental picture. Maybe because the sea is never far from a Hollander’s mind, I liked to think that that’s where forgiven sins were thrown. ‘When we confess our sins,’ I said, ‘God casts them into the deepest ocean, gone forever. …’

“The solemn faces stared back at me, not quite daring to believe. There were never questions after a talk in Germany in 1947. People stood up in silence, in silence collected their wraps, in silence left the room.

“And that’s when I saw him, working his way forward against the others. One moment I saw the overcoat and the brown hat; the next, a blue uniform and a visored cap with its skull and crossbones. It came back with a rush: the huge room with its harsh overhead lights; the pathetic pile of dresses and shoes in the center of the floor; the shame of walking naked past this man. I could see my sister’s frail form ahead of me, ribs sharp beneath the parchment skin. Betsie, how thin you were!

[Betsie and I had been arrested for concealing Jews in our home during the Nazi occupation of Holland; this man had been a guard at Ravensbruck concentration camp where we were sent.]

“Now he was in front of me, hand thrust out: ‘A fine message, Fräulein! How good it is to know that, as you say, all our sins are at the bottom of the sea!’

“And I, who had spoken so glibly of forgiveness, fumbled in my pocketbook rather than take that hand. He would not remember me, of course—how could he remember one prisoner among those thousands of women?

“But I remembered him and the leather crop swinging from his belt. I was face-to-face with one of my captors and my blood seemed to freeze.

“ ‘You mentioned Ravensbruck in your talk,’ he was saying, ‘I was a guard there.’ No, he did not remember me.

“ ‘But since that time,’ he went on, ‘I have become a Christian. I know that God has forgiven me for the cruel things I did there, but I would like to hear it from your lips as well. Fräulein,’ again the hand came out—’will you forgive me?’

“And I stood there—I whose sins had again and again to be forgiven—and could not forgive. Betsie had died in that place—could he erase her slow terrible death simply for the asking?

“It could not have been many seconds that he stood there—hand held out—but to me it seemed hours as I wrestled with the most difficult thing I had ever had to do.

“For I had to do it—I knew that. The message that God forgives has a prior condition: that we forgive those who have injured us. ‘If you do not forgive men their trespasses,’ Jesus says, ‘neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.’

“I knew it not only as a commandment of God, but as a daily experience. Since the end of the war I had had a home in Holland for victims of Nazi brutality. Those who were able to forgive their former enemies were able also to return to the outside world and rebuild their lives, no matter what the physical scars. Those who nursed their bitterness remained invalids. It was as simple and as horrible as that.

“And still I stood there with the coldness clutching my heart. But forgiveness is not an emotion—I knew that too. Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart. ‘… Help!’ I prayed silently. ‘I can lift my hand. I can do that much. You supply the feeling.’

“And so woodenly, mechanically, I thrust my hand into the one stretched out to me. And as I did, an incredible thing took place. The current started in my shoulder, raced down my arm, sprang into our joined hands. And then this healing warmth seemed to flood my whole being, bringing tears to my eyes.

“ ‘I forgive you, brother!’ I cried. ‘With all my heart!’

“For a long moment we grasped each other’s hands, the former guard and the former prisoner. I had never known God’s love so intensely, as I did then”

Dancing with Sweetheart Baby

2011-09-11T21:27:00.000-07:00

When she was little this would have been impossible as she usually interpreted the workouts to mean "stand in between your mother's legs or make a fort underneath her stomach if she's doing downward dog." Unfortunately this has resulted in an unintended 3 lb weight to her head during the more strenuous workouts. But now she has mad work-out skills, especially for Tony Horton's plyometrics routine. Her best routine, by far, is her down and out head waving, core swinging, and foot stomping at her musical theater group. I can't wait to see this girl leading the world in song and dance. It's just a matter of time.

Mimi's Sleepover

2011-09-11T21:22:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday Mimi had a sleepover with the girls. They each wore one of Mimi's hot pink T-shirts to bed.

Cheerios before bedtime

Cookie and mid-morning tea party after their 7am McDonald's breakfast of eggs.

Sawing logs before 9pm. Good Mimi!

Orange Belt in Taekwondo

2011-09-11T21:15:00.000-07:00

Keontay's taekwondo teacher, Master Rankins, has seen Keontay's athletic abilities and encouraged us to help him pursue developing them. As we were planning to take a break from taekwondo in order to pursue soccer he explained that Keontay has been building up to understanding taekwondo and is on the cusp of integrating it. If we take him out now he would have to start all over again when we re-enrolled him. We followed his advice and Keontay advanced to getting his first belt, an orange stripe.

First Day of Third Grade

2011-09-11T10:45:00.000-07:00

Keontay LOVES school and is excited to be back with his friends, especially back to playing kick back with them during recess. We're happy he enjoys school so much.

Daysha wants to be like her brother. The day after he went to school she insisted on walking to her playgroup (neighbor's house around the corner) all by herself with her own backpack. She strutted for all she was worth as I stealthily followed in my car before I went to an appointment.

Mrs. Kester had a bright, well-organized room for back-to-school night. Keontay did the above self-portrait; his goal is to get better at math :). Mrs. Kester rewards tickets for various classroom projects, including doing extra homework. Keontay is greatly motivated by collecting tickets and the thrill of purchasing a prize. Buying things seems to be what he interprets as the greatest gift he can get. He lights up and gives great big, spontaneous hugs. He will work extra hard to get a toy. He also wants to be on time to school and stay out of the red book. Keontay can get discouraged if he does get in the red book. When the red book happens we have to take some time to rest and remember that we can try again the next day.

Keontay's therapist has recently been helping Mom with this transition into a new school year and more homework: "Stay away from helping his with his homework, instead find resources to help you help him. Do something nice for yourself every day. Put your energy into hugging him instead of being a task master." This task master business can involve two hours a day of homework since focusing and amicability are some of the main skills we are working on. We've got a super tight schedule with taekwondo two days a week and soccer the other two. (Some alien from another planet obviously forced us into this rigamarole.)

In an effort to revamp this overbooked system, minimize fatigue-induced bedtime trauma for all parties, and keep the focus on school work Aaron and I decided to not allow extracurricular anything until homework is done. Therefore, being a task master means getting the grueling homework finished with a deadline and inadvertent threat behind it. He loves his sports and excels in them and I want him to participate, but I'm not a very good dentist, especially when these teeth I'm pulling are not even loose. What's more I don't believe in homework. I think play time, getting energy out of little bodies, will benefit children most so they can better focus, especially for little boys. I get to choose to be the enforcer of homework lunacy or a quiet proponent of subversive maneuvers to undermine the well-meaning and hardworking staff of the local school. If I teach him to dog authority then I can expect him to be dishing it out to me. Therefore, I am serving up homework lunacy in my house and we are suffering. Hence, Dr. Lovett.

Dr. Lovett explains that he is not being manipulative. He becomes riddled with anxiety when everyday things are confusing to him. In such anxiety his brain doesn't process the information even if he is smart enough to understand it. Honestly, what could be more confusing than someone you love hurting you? She says she commonly sees this process of legitimate confusion with bright children who have been traumatized. His inner self is telling him he needs help and partnering to survive. He legitimately has a difficult time doing things on his own because when he was in true distress in his life there was nobody to help him. He will have to be helped along the way and need a partner in doing most things for a long time. This news couldn't find two more unlikely recipients. Aaron and I are two fiercely independent oldest children. When we would much rather be giving lessons on self-reliance we're being schooled in partnership. And I thought I was done with school!

Mommy's Tummy

2011-09-04T20:45:00.002-07:00

Daysha and I were swinging on the hammock last Sunday right after lunch and before we needed to get dressed for church.

"I was in your tummy, right Mommy?"

I never expected this question.

"No, you were adopted."

"So I was in Mimi's tummy?"

"No, you were in your birth mom's tummy?"

"Grandma's tummy?"

"No, your birth mom."

"What's her name?"

So, I told Daysha her birth mom's name. I didn't tell her that I have a picture of her and her birth mom together with a tear running down birth mom's face. I didn't tell her that Daysha looks just like her birth mom with the same exact smile (We called her 'Big Daysha.') I didn't tell her that I remember her birth mom holding her on the bathroom counter telling her how beautiful she was, or that when Daysha and Dad ran into birth mom in the local Wal-mart parking lot birth mom knew Daysha right away. Birth mom said, "She's just like me!" when she saw how Daysha was singing and dancing her way past the parked cars.

She only remembers me as her Mommy?

A while back Daysha saw the following picture on the cover of a book I studied for my World Religions class:

I don't remember her exact words, but it was something like this.

"That's the scary ghost."

"What scary ghost?" I said.

"The one in the forest."

"What forest, Day?"

"You saved me Mommy."

I'm not sure what she was referring to, whether she had a dream the night before or she was referring to some scary experiences she had before she came to our home. I think that a part of her remembers her life before us, even if she can't put it into words.

When Daysha asked me her question I felt, a little bit, like I was greatly disappointing her because my tummy did not prelude her birth. But I want her to know this...

Just the Same

Sometimes—
God sends rain
Straight from the sky
To nourish the young flower
and it grows.

 

Sometimes—
God sends rain from the sky
To the mountaintops,
Then over hills and through valleys
Until it reaches the flower
and it grows, just the same.

 
Sometimes—
God sends a child
Straight from His realm
Into a mother’s arms
and love grows.

 
Sometimes—
God sends a child
From heaven to another’s arms,
Then over hills and through valleys
Until he reaches the arms of his mother
and love grows, just the same.

- Diana Lynn Lacey

Going over hills and through valleys may be a sorrowful journey. This sorrow, though, can lead us to our family and lead us to our friends. Just so you know, I cried all the way home the day you asked me if you were in my tummy. I did have a baby in my tummy, but it died inside me about the same time you were born. I cried because your birth Mommy couldn't take care of you anymore. I cried because you didn't get a mommy who looks like you. I cried because my tummy never bore you even though I wish it had. I wish you had been in my tummy baby girl, but my tummy was sick and God had to send you a different way. My smile may not look like your smile, but I know you're mine.

Facing My Fears

2011-09-04T20:45:00.001-07:00

I was about to tell you what most people fear, but I'm not that smart so I'll just tell you my two biggest fears. I can take off alone in a jet plane to wander around Spain and France making chit chat in fairly good Spanish and falsified French. I can take myself to the ER with a pretty good sounding diagnosis (Mom and Heather would debate this as bravery). I can show up for Cross Fit even though I wuss around worse than people twice my age. Despite those amazing life accomplishments I have some true fears buried in my bosom: gardening and sewing. Even receiving fresh flowers freaks me out a bit. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP THEM ALIVE!!?! Ok, so the caps lock button helped me convey to you that that is not the fear I have overcome. I bought a sewing machine. Mr. Sewing Machine Repair Man at Meissner's gave me a quick lesson before I bought the machine. I came home and hemmed three pairs of pants. Even though the pants aren't pretty I'm not scared anymore. I've got tools and I sort of remember how to use them. That may not sound like a big accomplishment to you, but it is. I was trying everything not to buy a sewing machine. I bought this $16 staple gun looking sewing thing. I bought the tape to hem pants. I bought these "as seen on TV" clips to hem pants. But all this stuff started crowding me out of my clear, plastic boxes, I was tired of whipping up ways to make a sewing staple gun (something I dreamed of when I was 8), and I was tired of unsticking the sticky material when I took them hem out of taped pants. I had to buy the machine on the sly since Aaron had previously convinced me not to buy one because through all of the months of my avoidance and debate he told me, "You're fighting with the sewing machine and you don't even have one." No more fighting. Only LOVE!

The Wonder of Funderland

2011-08-13T10:52:00.000-07:00

Savannah turned seven yesterday so she and her family invited us to Funderland to celebrate with her. Some of my favorite things about my neice are her tenderness (I saw this in the way she looked down at Will and brushed his hair back while smiling at him during dinner), her love of nature, her independence, and her creativity. She's growing up to be such a wonderful little girl.

Val treated us all to dinner at Frank Fat's. Thank you, Val. We'll miss the Hinze family. We're so glad they can come out to see us every year. We hope to be able to go see them in Dallas sometime soon.

Jensen Family Reunion

2011-08-13T10:38:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we got to attend the Jensen Family Reunion at the Residence Inn in Pleasanton. I always love spending time with both sides of Aaron's family. They are all such wonderful people.

Grandpa Jensen took a moment to talk to us. He shared a story about when he was flying Grandma Jensen around and they ran out of gas so they had to make and emergency landing on the freeway. She still wasn't smiling about it!

All the Great-Grandkids (that came). 40 of the 60 Jensen family members were able to make it this year.

Sleeping Sweeties

2011-08-13T10:23:00.000-07:00

Aunt Jen and her crew (Savannah, Will and Lila) came to spend the night at our house last week while Uncle Jim was staying at Dorothy's before the family reunion. Day and Keontay shared a bed.

The third member in this bed conglomerate is "beary." I think I read somewhere that it's healthy for a child to attach to something in their development so I've been very happy that Keontay has attached to his bear. I used to try to give Daysha stuffed animals and blankets to attach to in an effort to wean her from her bottle, to no avail.

Keontay says that when he's scared he hugs his bear and keeps his back to the window. This was very important during the Scooby-Doo nightmare period. Yesterday Keontay even took Beary outside and dunked him in the pool. He says it was a bath. I'm not sure what was going on previous to that. All I saw was sand, a shovel and beary's head. It must have been a friendly dirtying because after the bath in salt water "beary" was seated at the table wrapped in a towel while they worked on his hair with Daysha's toy brush, curling iron and hair dryer. I'm glad we don't have a dog. He'd be difficult to throw in the washing machine.

The B-Day Guh

2011-08-13T10:10:00.000-07:00

We celebrated Daysha's Fourth Birthday at the Train Station in Hagan Park again because it was so easy last year. It wasn't as exciting for her now that she's four. She kept saying how long the train ride was. So, I don't know if I'm going to have the luxury of sending the party off on a train ride again next year. Nevertheless and notwithstanding it was a successful b-day bash. Aunt Jen made the most delicious strawberry cupcakes. Wow! Thank you, you Aunt Jen. She also gave Daysha a dress and bow to match her cousins. I found the bow completely annihilated by 8:30pm that night! Dang it! Par for the course.

The gourmet spread: hot dogs, doritos, gluten free chocolate cupcakes, capri-suns, watermelon.

The train conductor people run this as volunteers. They were very good to us. The money we paid goes for facilities only.

Thank you got everyone who took the time out to come. Our highlight was being able to spend time with you. We love you!

The New Pesticide

2011-08-13T09:53:00.000-07:00

It's been a glorious morning. Aaron and I managed to hibernate in our room until 9:30am, mumbling "I'M ASLEEP" throughout the plethora of bed shakes, hug scrambles, door poundings, crying booboo announcements, and requests for powdered donuts. When I finally came down the stairs I expected to see the house announcing my absence with it's latent language of mishaps (that winner was right off the tip of my fingers). But it was at the staircase landing (not even the bottom) that I got my first introduction by the mishap instigators themselves.

"Mom! We killed a bug with the orange spray!"

My mind works quickly to decipher "orange spray". The first one I remember is the paint remover I used to strip a piano back in 2000. That was long gone.

"What is orange spray?"

"You know, the stuff we use in the bathroom?"

"OK, can you show me?" I ask as I walk through clouds of orange essence.

"Right here!" they say as they triumphantly point to a poor withered creature almost hidden in the depths of my carpet.

I touch the sticky wall and keep walking downstairs to get the carpet cleaning machine. But then the hammock outside distracts me and all three of us are swinging in the sunshine dappled shade.

Girls' Day Out with Grandma

2011-08-11T21:12:00.000-07:00

Grandma took out the girls, Lila and Daysha, for a mani-pedi up to her favorite place in Cameron Park. It was only $15 for each girl and they enjoyed all 40 minutes of the lotion, massages and attention. They were eager to show off their beautiful nails and the little painted flower on each foot and hand. They LOVE being with each other and with their Grandma. With that and a trip to McDonald's thrown in, it couldn't be a better day.

THANK YOU, GRANDMA!

Cousin Fun

2011-07-31T21:56:00.000-07:00

And when they're sixteen?

Six Flags Discovery Kingdom

2011-07-31T21:45:00.000-07:00

Since we were on our way home from Dr Lovett's in Berkeley and Keontay had won a free ticket for reading we decided to stop by Six Flags.

I rocked the fashion world with my drug store straw hat. And Keontay got to choose where we went. Aaron and I are finding we're a little too old to enjoy the long, loud lines so we settled into being led by the little ones and enjoying their enjoyment. Pluses were the dolphin show, tigers, shark tank, giraffes, elephants, lions, endless water ride at closing time and the toddler, quiet, no-wait rides. Negatives were the loud speakers and high fives. Aaron didn't like the possible germ spreading. I didn't like the extra time it took to spread the enthusiasm.

Kirkwood Flower Festival

2011-07-31T21:33:00.000-07:00

We made it up the hill to Kirkwood with Jen, Keontay, Savannah and Will. Although, Aaron was unimpressed I was delighted with the variety of flowers and especially their smell when we sat on the mountain. Chair lift #6 was open and we barely made it up before it closed. It was our first time going down the ski lift, which was a bit more exciting and offered better views.

We went to a snow patch to slide down it. The trick was to not biff it as soon as your feet hit the mud. I biffed it. Aaron managed to stand up. Savannah did all of the above and Keontay was pretty bitter at the whole situation offering such mud, and mostly just to him (in his view).

The above pose is for Mark Holsten. He claims this is how I welcomed him when I met him for the first time and "interviewed" him since he was about to marry my best friend.

Before Keontay's fall he was relatively jolly. We need to get him some hiking boots.

Going up

Beginning Day's Fourth Birthday Celebrations

2011-07-31T21:23:00.000-07:00

Sunday began Day's birthday celebration, even though she doesn't turn four until Tuesday. In Daysha's honor Mimi served hot dogs and bacon. For dessert she got vanilla ice cream (which she occasionally calls cake). The rest of us ate Belgian waffles with fresh peaches, strawberries and blackberries to round out the bacon.

Mimi chose a fabulous gift for Daysha, a little picnic table. Daysha was so excited she was smiling and exclaiming how exciting it was. Pleasing her is very rewarding.

Mimi also got her a little baby doll and a big blue tub to wash her baby in. It reminded Mimi of me when I was little and used to wash my baby doll for hours in a similar tub. Daysha is equally invested in the task.

Thank you, Mimi, for celebrating my girl.

Sunday Morning

2011-07-31T20:54:00.000-07:00

Aaron sneaked this picture of the kids while we had been upstairs having our Sunday morning meeting planning our week. Lately I've been feeling a little bit discouraged about my parenting, so this is exactly what I needed. If I can feel good about anything it's that we provided a home where they can stay together and where they can love each other like this.

Spy Watch Improves Education

2011-07-31T20:50:00.001-07:00

Next March we're using our frequent flier miles to go to Disney World and Washington DC with stops at historical sites in Virginia along the way. To prepare I'm starting to teach the kids about colonial and revolutionary times. Today I was reading to Keontay about Benjamin Franklin. The book didn't have very many pictures so I didn't think he'd be interested, but because he had his spy watch on he stood right by my side to video tape the pictures in the book from all angles as well as the words and me in my pajamas reading it to him. If only he could take his spy watch to school.

Scissors in Sacrament

2011-07-31T20:42:00.000-07:00

Since Day isn't into coloring we gave her scissors in Sacrament. She loves them and we don't mind picking up the pieces at the end of Sacrament Meeting (main church meeting) since it keeps her occupied and relatively quiet. Today, though, I looked over to see tears streaming down her cheeks. When I asked what was wrong Aaron showed me a bloody little cut on his hand. She was telling him (through her tears), "Let's go home, Daddy, so I can get you a band-aid." I had to get up right then to get him a band-aid from the car so she would stop crying. I love you, baby Day.

Little Guy

2011-07-29T07:37:00.000-07:00

Keontay and his cousins, Lukie and Ethan, have a new game in the pool. They capture frogs and then float them on boats around the pool. This was the littlest frog they captured. They named him little guy. They had another frog, big guy, but he was lost when they were trying to transport him across the pool on his giant ball.

Reverence

2011-07-24T09:11:00.000-07:00

Katie expects her second child, a boy with down syndrome, in early November. While we sat together by the pool I told her how excited I was to meet him, to know his spirit. I explained that it was different than with her first child, Isabella. With Isabella I was curious. I wanted to know what she would look like, whose eyes she would have, who she would take after more in mannerism and traits.

I likened my expectation to one night when Daysha was little. It was late at night, maybe early morning. She was coughing and I looked through the steamed up bathroom into her eyes. She looked right into mine and I connected with her in a way that transcended thought or words.

After describing this to Katie I felt my loss.

I haven't been spending my energy knowing and experiencing the people in my life. Instead, I've been task driven. So the next morning I decided to hand my to-do list over to God so I could focus my energy on being with the people who showed up in my day.

My commitment wasn't perfect. It was made up of small things like making a conscious effort to turn my whole body towards my son or daughter when they entered the room. My day was much more peaceful and I got more done during that day than I have in a long time. Because my goal was different I was able to find success in making moments and felt peace doing so.

I write this to remind myself that reverence can be my goal every day. Life can feel more successful, more peaceful. Experiencing such a life is our privilege. President Uchtdorf told this story:

There once was a man whose lifelong dream was to board a cruise ship and sail the Mediterranean Sea. He dreamed of walking the streets of Rome, Athens, and Istanbul. He saved every penny until he had enough for his passage. Since money was tight, he brought an extra suitcase filled with cans of beans, boxes of crackers, and bags of powdered lemonade, and that is what he lived on every day.

He would have loved to take part in the many activities offered on the ship—working out in the gym, playing miniature golf, and swimming in the pool. He envied those who went to movies, shows, and cultural presentations. And, oh, how he yearned for only a taste of the amazing food he saw on the ship—every meal appeared to be a feast! But the man wanted to spend so very little money that he didn’t participate in any of these. He was able to see the cities he had longed to visit, but for the most part of the journey, he stayed in his cabin and ate only his humble food.

On the last day of the cruise, a crew member asked him which of the farewell parties he would be attending. It was then that the man learned that not only the farewell party but almost everything on board the cruise ship—the food, the entertainment, all the activities—had been included in the price of his ticket. Too late the man realized that he had been living far beneath his privileges.

Kirkwood Summertime Downhill

2011-07-17T09:59:00.000-07:00

Aaron and I got the chance (thanks to Dorothy for watching the kids all day) to go back up to Kirkwood for the first day of their mountain biking season. Even the drive up and down were SUPER fun 'cuz we were sans enfants. I was so excited my eyebrows elevated to new heights and I took photos of "beautiful", rusty pipe-things in the river.

The pose was meant to look adventurous, but it only looks like I need some relief. Don't be fooled! Relief was all around me in the clouds that displayed the intricacies of their movement since they were right about our heads, the smell of the sweet air and the flowers that were all business and blooming.

Aaron pulled some mean snow-biking techniques. I kept goading him on to go full throttle through the mud and puddles from the prolific snow run-off so he could adequately decorate his bike and clothes. We got some videos, but I don't know how to post them. He kept telling me I couldn't walk my bike or say things like "gale-force winds" but I let him know that on my vacation I can push my bike and say "gale-force winds" at the same time. I suspect Aaron's best time was going down the mountain for his last run by himself when he didn't have to wait for slow poke. I was glad not to take that last run as my bike should've been locked up in permanent confinement. Plus I was able to spend time while I waited toppling snow bridges into the rushing stream.

Having snow still on the trail ended up being more fun. We parked our bikes at the lift and hiked up to slide down the leftover snow packs on our rear ends. [insert video, Aaron]

These white dandies invited us to come back in two weeks with the kids and (hopefully) the Hinze family when all the flowers on the mountain are in full bloom.

Another super favorite part was our lunch and dinner: salami, Italian-balsamic-vinegar cheese, fresh sourdough bread and grapes.

Mud-splatter guy

So, me and the bike were a bit embarrassing, but we took a picture together anyway. Neither of us could manage to be cool with the other one around. Luckily the crowds were few and my explanations of our condition were rendered inaudible by gale-force winds.

Plums, Pistachios and Pure Water

2011-07-17T08:37:00.000-07:00

About the time of year the plums are ripe on our tree we like to get a whole bag of them and raft down the river. We supplemented with pistachios and water since last year everybody was pretty hungry with just plums. The water was high this year so the rowing was mainly for steering purposes. The small rapids were a lot of fun and the biggest of them necessitated bailing out water from the bottom of the raft. We went earlier in the day so we missed the hordes, which we're sad about. We like watching them and will be prepared next time with water guns.

Aaron feeding pistachios to his loyal gaggle.

On a scale of 1-10 this trip was a 6 for fun, and 7 for relaxation. I was expecting more excitement because of my expectations from last year. The river will be as the river is.

More inspirational philosophy via 1992 and GB:

You know a dream is like a river
Ever changin' as it flows
And a dreamer's just a vessel
That must follow where it goes
Trying to learn from what's behind you
And never knowing what's in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores
And I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow
It has now become today
So don't you sit upon the shoreline
And say you're satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance that tide
And I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
There's bound to be rough waters
And I know I'll tke soome falls
With the good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all
And I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Lord, I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Yea

Note to self: Get out at that one place before Hagan Park.

Fourth of July

2011-07-17T08:04:00.000-07:00

We hosted the fourth of July this year. As the weather this year has been pretty cold we were so happy to have over 100 degree weather so everybody could enjoy the pool.

Ethan

Our son, energizer boost plus. He never stopped playing.

Papa Val

Wentzel Love Birds

Aunt Patrice was here for Lukie's baptism the day before. We hope she comes to celebrate with us next year. She took part in the "Sister's Synchronized Swimming Competition." She and Mom did some fabulous moves including the dual water fountain, the dual teeth clamped diving ring and a fabulous simultaneous jump. Heather and I were equally as impressive (according to our stoic pool judge, Dad) with our ball rolling dives and arm-A-position swim. We decided not to dive as we wanted a G-rated performance for the crowd (who mostly was unaware we were in the midst of a performance).

The food was really good! Mom brought potato salad and frog-eye salad. And Heather brought mint brownies. Everyone brought their own meat, which included steak, chicken, salmon and hot dogs. Corn, watermelon, chips and drinks rounded it off.

Two of our neighbors were kind enough to bring over their fireworks so we could all enjoy them together. Joel's Dad was also able to join us since he was here for Lukie's baptism, too.

Here's to one of my favorite Fourth of July's ever!

Recurring Dream

2011-06-30T20:38:00.000-07:00

I've had a recurring dream that I'm on an airplane, looking down on the top of the world at a harsh country in the arctic that is hot and sandy yet near to freezing. People live there, somehow. I'm in the vicinity and could take the opportunity to visit. I don't really want to, but since I'm there and could, I always feel somewhat of an obligation to tour for a day. Another recurring dream along the same lines is I'm on a plane to China. The plane swoops up and mountain, flies for a bit and then swoops up and down another mountain on the ground. I'm a little concerned about the strange acrobatics, but most of my attention is spent on "Why am I going to China?"

SO, I interpreted this. Dream Weaver be darned! (Dream Weaver is a Saturday night radio broadcast. I've called her several times in the past for interpretations, but the last time we didn't get along too well.) The interpretation is very exciting to me because I've never been in this place before in my life, EVER.

In both dreams I'd rather be home than wandering about having "adventures." This is similar to my being in the present moment. I want to be in the here and now rather than living in the past or waiting for the future. I want to be present to what is instead of letting my mind wander to to-do lists, tomorrow's agenda, the fifth cookie I should've donated to waste management. Why do I visit those harsh other-lands when home is so pleasant?

P.S. No offense to China.

Redwoods 2011

2011-06-30T19:28:00.001-07:00

This year at the Redwoods was one of my all-time favorites. The kids are getting older and we're able to have more fun with them. And they are having more fun with each other. Pips is the best sidekick I've ever seen. He'll go along with anything or anyone.

Daysha isn't a sidekick. She's the "Mommy, the teacher and the boss."
Aaron took charge of the fire for most of the time. Gracias, esposo amado.

The kids attended a Jr Rangers program. We were amazed they sat for the whole thing about precipitation etc with few visual aids or even voice inflection. Keontay was very proud of his first-ever pin/badge he got at the end. He even insisted I pin it to his shirt to wear to summer camp the next day.

This tree dates back to Columbus.

My oversized sweater was a prized souvenir gift, which Mom treated everybody to at the gift shop. The saying is my favorite:

Advice from a Tree:

Stand Tall and Proud
Sink your roots deeply into the Earth
Reflect the light of a greater source
Think long term
Go out on a limb
Remember your place among all living beings
Embrace with joy the changing seasons
For each yields its own abundance
The Energy and Birth of Spring
The Growth and Contentment of Summer
The Wisdom to let go of leaves in the Fall
The Rest and Quiet Renewal of Winter

Feel the wind and the sun
And delight in their presence
Look up at the moon that shines down upon you
And the mystery of the stars at night.
Seek nourishment from the good things in life
Simple pleasures
Earth, fresh air, light

Be content with your natural beauty
Drink plenty of water
Let your limbs sway and dance in the breezes
Be flexible
Remember your roots

Enjoy the view!

Being away from media created greater satisfaction in the boys' play. They played swords, uno, four square, kick ball etc. For some reason that stuff isn't

One of Mom's favorite things is wading in the river. We found this great area to picnic and build a pseudo-dam, thanks to the death hike.

I think I got a couple strikes this trip because I led the kids on two death hikes. The first was up a nearly vertical cliff where I held onto meager roots while I put my body in between Ethan and Keontay's possible uninhibited descent down rocks and dirt. The other was when I vaguely recalled seeing a scratched off sign saying it was a loop trail with 4.? miles on it. We had no food or water (Mom and Ethan had water) and Daysha was in flip-flops. As the trail got longer and our hope waned I sent Aaron out to run the trail to the end and come back to reinvigorate our hopes and squelch our imaginations of hiking to the coast unwittingly. He was amazing! He ran all the way back through steep terrain, took a drink and ran back to find us. We loved the hike and want to do it again when we're prepared.

The pix are late in coming, but before I forget I need to note some memorable moments.

While eating a Kit Kat Mom gets nostalgic. "Randy, what favorite meal does the Kit Kat remind me of?"

"Pretzels," he blurts without thinking, slowing down or even looking over.

"What?!" she exclaims. None of us listeners and fellow card players has any idea if this conversation has hit any target on anybody's boards.

"No, it's the meal in Scotland with your landlady who gave us Kit Kats (and something else very memorable to Mom only) right after we got in from our flight. Where did you get pretzels?" Mom continues.

"Well, your question was so far off in right field I didn't even want to bother to spend time thinking about that," Dad defends.

"Right field?" Mom says, "It's LEFT field."

"No, it's not. It's RIGHT field. Nobody hits to right field so it's gotta be way off," Dad explains.

Mom begins to enlist help. "Joel, what is it?"

"I'm not getting involved," Joel declares.

"That's cuz it is RIGHT field," Dad says while chalking up another ghost point.

"Aaron, what is it?" Mom asks.

"I honestly don't know." Aaron is the Switzerland of the family.

Heather and I aren't even gonna google this one. As far as we're concerned Mom can go to left field and Dad can go to right.

______________________________

The lot of us raided the souvenir shop and Heather was eager to show her natured-up, $3 ruler to Dad.

"Do you like it?" she asks.

"Yes," he nods somewhat absently. Handing it back he continues with his hard and fast opinion, "but I don't like the little bear."

We roar with laughter. The ruler gets passed around to see what's so reprehensible about the bear. It's a mid-size black cub. It doesn't have puppy dog eyes, a bonnet on it's head nor a pink bow around it's neck. Nevertheless, it failed the Randy-test.

______________________________

Mom, Heather and I sit at the picnic table while the kids play. Heather looks at my shirt and asks "What's that on your shoulder?"

I look down and out of the corner of my eye and see a brown diamond-shaped "head" about as big as my pinky. Before wasting any more time on further investigation I begin screaming and demand that my mother "GET IT OFF!"

She looks frantically around for the bug until Heather clues us in that it was a hole in my white shirt allowing my brown T-shirt underneath to show through.

Camping Rule #36: Don't wear clothing that simulates insect attachment.

Man Voice

2011-06-30T19:02:00.001-07:00

I got a call from Heather using her "man" voice. She was practicing so she could make an important and totally ethical phone call as "Joel Carr."

"Did I fool you?" she asked.
"No, I have caller ID." I stated.
"But if you didn't have that would you think I'm a man?" she asked.
"I don't know. Try again," I say, honestly thinking I could be unbiased when she's played the 'man voice' trick on me at least twice a year for most of my life.
"No, I don't think you're a man," I admit.
"Why?"
"Because your "man voice" sounds like my "man voice," I say. "But, Aaron doesn't have caller ID at work. Call him!" So, I give her the number. "Let me know how it goes."

"Hello, I need somebody to help me fix my computer," Heather begins. This may be the first phone call Aaron has received asking for IT support as he's practically the only one in his company who doesn't do IT.

According to Heather Aaron plays along for quite a while until she learns that he was never fooled. Apparently he thought it was me the whole time and needed to play along as part of his husbandly duties.

"How did you know it was me?" she asks.

"Because I have caller ID and your 'man voice' sounds just like Brooke's."

Heather is currently in search of some virgin ears upon which to practice using her 'man voice.' The main requirement is that you have never heard my 'man voice' nor hers. Please sign up if you are one of the few. You will be getting a call shortly.

The Food Cart Lady

2011-06-17T06:00:00.000-07:00

Due to a heart attack while windsurfing (miraculous return to shore, pack up of gear and drive home) Dad went in for some heart surgery. It was after 8pm. Emergency room arrivals had pushed his "elective" surgery on for 8 hours already. He was on Valium to minimize the cussing, and had been semi-appeased with some contraband jell-o. The good nurse told us it would probably be 45 minutes, but that every body was different and not to worry when it took longer.

Mom, Heather and I waited in our designated area. Mom "oh-no"'d as fellow waiting room women perched precariously on chairs to change channels. Heather cleaned handrails with disinfectant wipes. I tried to engage both of them in an empathic listening activity highlighted in a magazine. Mom read wall plaques. We were vigilant of the automatic double doors, tempted each time to steal through or interrogate the scrub-clad exiters, maybe even get some information from the dude with the drill. Heather picked up the phone on the wall to discuss the situation with the answering service. We said a quick waiting-room prayer. As two hours loomed right in front of us we became desperate for information.

Soon a woman with a food cart exited. Heather walked over to her. Mom and I sat, me studying my empathy article and she on red-alert, both of us listening. Most of it seemed blah blah blah until,
"You mean there's nobody back there?!"
blah blah blah
"They all went home?!" Heather continued.
Mom bolted over, stunned by this breaking news of Dad's surgery.
Somehow it was all worked out with the food cart woman and Dad came out moments later declaring, "Victory!" and showing us the pictures of his heart with the two stents that opened up blood to all areas of his heart.

Hooray for Dad and hooray for the heart surgeon!

Baltimore MD

2011-06-17T05:46:00.001-07:00

Keontay woke up with gunk in his eye. I called Heather, my sister, my go-to for medical advice (see next post for her latest achievements.) She recommended calling Kaiser advice nurse even though Keontay wasn't a patient and I was. Advice nurse referral woman tried to shut me down. She wasn't into Mom's pseudo-ailment in case her son infected her. I hung up before I was transferred and determined not to give out too much information next time. Called his regular doctor to leave a message and discovered they had an on-call doctor for advice. Used my amazing memory skills to memorize the number and then dialed.

"Hello?"
"I want to know if my son has pink eye."
"Who are you?"
"I'm just calling to find out if my son has pink eye."
"I can help you, but who are you?"
"I'm Brooke Stephens and my son, Keon, woke up with gunk in his eyes so I called Dr. Biag's number to get your number as the on-call doctor."
"I'm a web developer, but I have two kids. What are the symptoms?"
("Hmmm. Why would Dr. Biag put her website developer's number as the phone number? Maybe the on-call doctor is temporarily away and she's just answering the phone," I think to myself.)
"Well, he woke up with gunk in his eye and it's not really red."
"Well, it could be allergies. I had allergies once," she says.
"In just one eye?" I ask.
"Yes. How old is he?" she asks.
"Seven," I say.
"Oh, well maybe it's pink eye. It goes around so easily from kid to kid," she says.
"Where are you?" I ask, thinking maybe Dr. Biag hasn't recommended this person at all.
"Baltimore, Maryland. You called my cell phone."

Hmmm. Well, at least I found out how friendly they can be in Baltimore.

Flat Stanley visits Texan cousins

2011-06-06T12:59:00.000-07:00

Keontay's flat Stanley went to visit his Texan cousins and had a great time. Stanley came back with some jumbo sized jelly beans, the below pictures and some postcards. We're jealous of Stanley and want to go visit our Texas cousins ASAP.

Mother's Day

2011-05-27T21:10:00.001-07:00

This was probably my favorite Mother's Day. Keontay came in my room as soon as he woke up to give me the gifts and cards he made for me at school and with his Dad. I was so happy to see how eager he was to give me what he had made! And Daysha had also made me some coupons along with the singing cards both of them got me. I got breakfast in bed--French Toast, and a husband who had NO MEETINGS AT CHURCH ALL DAY!! THAT was awesome!

My kids' gifts warmed my heart. I think I'm getting what it's like to be a Mom.

Mister Tae Kwon Do

2011-05-27T15:22:00.000-07:00

Keontay LOVES his tae kwon do class!

And I love finding things he loves.
Besides getting to see him smile and grow I can also use it as a carrot.

Architect sketches of house on the land

2011-05-26T07:38:00.000-07:00

We just got the sketches back for our house on the land. They were able to incorporate everything we asked for. It's nice to have architects create it so that we don't have to worry or second guess. They've made sure that all the windows are facing the right way in regards to views, and hot summer sun. They'll work with us on the choice of materials for the inside, outside and the landscaping so that it all flows. It's also very energy-efficient and cost-effective so that we can put more of our pretend money into upgrades and landscaping. And it can be done in stages as our pretend money piles up.

My favorite parts are the bridge to the patio on top of the garage, the indoor/outdoor fireplace on the balcony off of the living room, the breezeway between the bedrooms and living area, and the set-up of the kitchen and common areas. I also love that it flows with the contours of the land.

We're very, very happy with the results. Now, we're on to planning the driveway and putting that in. One step at a time!

Oh, and the above are the colors we want the house to be. We want stone stuff at the bottom and the dark wood with the rust trip for the body.

Tahoe Photo Shoot

2011-05-26T07:36:00.001-07:00

Heather recently took some photos of the kids and our family this last weekend. I can't wait for the rest of the pictures! Thanks, Heather.

Easter Egg Hunt

2011-05-18T20:50:00.000-07:00

Heather just shared her photos with me so I'm posting a bunch of stuff from a while ago. On Easter Sunday we had our families over for a ham dinner. All pitched in. Mimi brought eggs for an egg hunt. Keontay's favorite was his money from both Grandma and Mimi!

Daysha's favorite was the chocolate, of course.

Aaron had a great time rough-housing with the kids. He was pulling them in the wagon around the grass like a mad man. He got a little too vigorous and toppled the whole bunch. When we looked out he was sitting on the grass with an upturned cart and three crying kids in his lap and arms. He later apologized to the parents, "I'm sorry I toppled over the kids."

Another Innocent Claimed

2011-05-18T20:41:00.000-07:00

Daysha's first victim over a year ago was her Texas cousin, Lila. She smothered her head in lotion to create a frosty white helmet look. Daysha's second victim was her Folsom cousin, Pippers, aka Caleb. She covered his head in Mentholatum. Both victims didn't seem to mind their exploitation. And the parents of the victims thought it was cute until they realized how much shampooing they had to do.

In case Daysha claims you next, the best way to get Mentholatum out of your hair is to wash it TWELVE TIMES with baby oil so that the oil can thin out the oil-based gel and then shampoo out the oil that's left behind.

For some reason this girl likes to mess and destroy. Today she was pulling of and ripping the rubber sealing thing on my car door. #$&*@!

so so so sad

2011-05-18T20:33:00.000-07:00

So, guess who lost that totally motivating high-stakes diet?

me

The worst part about it was that it was supposed to be a walk around Wal-Mart. Target was even ruled out because the existing camouflage (strangely dressed people) wasn't great enough. And where did I wear this horrendous atrocity? At JACK'S URBAN EATS RIGHT NEXT TO BEL AIR IN FOLSOM!!! Talk about no camouflage at all! But the people there are courteous and discrete and they have big potted plants to stand behind. I think I'm cured of diets. I'm just going to focus on believing pink, striped eighties pajamas, or anything else, looks sexy because I'm wearing them! Maybe Daysha can teach me how to strut.

Dancing Queen

2011-05-18T20:15:00.000-07:00

Daysha had her first dance recital to culminate her participation in the Folsom Parks and Rec class "Tiny Dance." Kaylene Christensen was a wonderfully talented and patient teacher. At first I was resistant to enrolling her in a class when she was only three, but it was so much fun for her and for me. At the recital I was laughing so hard tears were rolling down my cheeks.

Here she is with Sydney, Chloe, Lucy, Allie and Jasmine doing the Grover "Fuzzy and Blue" routine in her "tap, tap" shoes. Concentration and overall performance is always enhanced if the tongue shoots out of the mouth for at least half of the show.

Here's to my Daysha-Babes. Thanks for making me smile. I love you!